She was my first time in a lot of positions and I was in so much pain from doing all that. I thought, Why should I be a bad porn star?. I had a hard time seeing myself in any shape or size, so I didn't know how to handle it. I had to work hard to get my body where I wanted it. At first in my training I was very nervous. Everyone that was with me wasn't really interested in porn, even the guys with more advanced training said that. And I told them that I was ready. I was able to train even though I was just so nervous and trying to put on weight. All those years of training taught me to get strong. It was great to watch, but at the same time I was so scared I actually wanted to do something with the camera while in the studio. I'd take a group shot in the studio and there's no one watching, so I thought I was going to play my own show. But because I only had one camera, I was just not interested in the audience looking at me. They were all so happy I was doing such an amazing thing and I was actually laughing so hard at my jokes when I made them. It's okay if you try hard your whole life, but if you don't try hard you won't look the part.